8 weeks and counting...

Today is a lazy fall day here in Michigan. Rick and I spend the whole day yesterday driving to Mackinaw city and back. Tabby had a Halloween program and that program was worth every long mile. She was so cute and SO excited that we had come up to see her. She was dressed up as a little ghost and did her part perfectly! We got to take her to dinner and then had to take her back home. She was very sad we couldn't stay longer, but we will get to see her for the weekend on Nov. 7! During that weekend we will share our big news with her. I know that she will be excited, but I am also a little nervous that it won't go as well as we hope. Her life is about to change in a why she can't even imagine. I hope that Rick and I are able to balance that for her. I hope that we are able in the midst of all the excitement to make time to make her feel special! I know that she will love her little brother or sister, but I fear there may be some negative feelings as well. I pray that God will give us the patience and guidance to do what is right for her!

Tomorrow marks 8 weeks along. A week and a half ago we got an ultrasound and saw our little one for the first time. He/She wasn't much bigger than a pea, but we could see the heart beating. Life is so incredibly amazing. That little tiny pea will become our kicking smiling baby! It's amazing how much you can love it, even when it is just a pea. It is had to believe that 8 weeks have already passed. We keep saying that we have lots of time to get ready, but before you know it, it will be June 11 and we will be holding our little one in our arms. I can't wait for that day, but we are definitely not ready. We are currently remodeling the basement so we can move our "office"/junk room out of the baby's room. Our basement has a long way to go before it is ready for us to move stuff down there. Hopefully we will be able to make progress quickly and start working on our baby's room!

September 19...

That was a historic day for our family. Two wonderful things happened. First my sister Tracey had brain surgery. They found a small tumor in June and she went to Duke University to have it removed. It was removed by world famous neurosurgeon Allen Freidman! If he is good enough for Ted Kennedy he is good enough for my sister. We did not know before the surgery what kind of tumor it was, so we were all on pins and needles. My parents and brother and sister-in-law went down for the surgery (I'll explain why I didn't go in a minute). Mom called me once she was out of the OR and told me the tumor was a benign grade 1 polycystic astrocytoma and the only follow-up she would need is periodic MRI's. PRAISE GOD!!! We all breathed a huge sigh of relief.

The other great thing on that day was for Rick and I. That is the day we got to go to the Grand Rapids fertility clinic for our intrauterine insemination. So we were hoping for a good turn out for both Tracey and us. Rick turned in a spectacular performance with 37 million! Woo Hoo! They inseminated me at almost the exact moment they took Tracey into surgery. The only draw back for us was that we would have to wait for 2 weeks to know our results! So we waited and we waited. That was the longest 2 weeks of my life. Then we had planned to wait until the following Monday because I didn't have to work. If we tested on Friday and it was negative I didn't want to cry at work all weekend because things didn't work. However once Thursday night rolled around we decided we couldn't wait. So at 2:30 am on Friday Oct.3 we got our first positive pregnancy test. I did do another home test on Monday...just to be sure. :-) Then the fertility clinic wanted me to confirm with an HCG test. That is a blood pregnancy test. I did the first one for them on Monday Oct. 6 and it was positive at 750. They told me that anything over 500 is considered positive. Then I did a second test on Wednesday, Oct. 8. They had me do the second one just to make sure the level was rising. It too was positive at 1393! So I guess that means I'm PREGNANT!!!! We are so very excited and so grateful to all our family and friends for all of their thoughts and prayers!

I remember...

On this day 7 years ago our country changed forever. I will never forget that day as history unfolded before our very eyes. Here is what I remember. I had been a nurse less than a year and was working at Bronson Hospital. I worked in the float pool but had yet to start training to the Peds floor. Up to this point I had only been trained for NICU. On this fateful day I got pulled to the Peds floor. Once I got there I discovered that I had been given a full assignment of 6 patients. Not only was that terrifying as a new nurse, but also I had never taken more that 3 babies over in the NICU. So needless to say I burst out in tears. Luckily my now friend Jeanette was in charge that day and rescued me. It ended up that I had a nice little 3 kid assignment with all babies. Whew...that crisis averted! The day was progressing along when all of a sudden I notices that some of the parents were watching a very strange movie...or what I thought was a movie. It was very violent and planes were crashing everywhere. Then I noticed that the nursing students were all crying. I couldn't figure out what the heck was going on. We have a big screen TV in our play room and when I walked past there I happened to look in and saw the second plane hit. I think that was when I realized that this was no movie it was real. Somehow I didn't burst into tears again, but I felt a fear like I have never known before. Once I could peal myself away from the TV I had to call my family. I knew none of there were anywhere close to NY or were any of them flying, but in that moment of panic I just needed to know that we were all OK. I couldn't reach anyone because all of the cell communication had been shut down. However eventually I did discover they were all OK. My mom was at a trauma class, dad at work, Rob at work as well, and Tracey was working in Georgia. All safe and sound. Once the towers fell and they just kept repeating the footage over and over we decided it probably wasn't the best to have it on all the TVs. It was back to cartoon network for us and business as usual. However the mood was very mellow and somber. It was odd to look outside. It was a gorgeous day, much like today, and the sky was completely silent. The streets were very quiet as well. It was almost as if all the people were hiding. What an incredibly eerie feeling. I didn't realize how much plane traffic there was over little Kalamazoo until there was none. I survived my first day on Peds and went home to my family. The scariest thing I noticed on my way home was that gas was $5.00 or more a gallon. Thank goodness I had gotten gas the day before.

It was a terrible day for our country and has changed many things around us. I remember all of us stopping and praying right in the middle of the Peds floor and I still continue to pray for the family and friends of those lost on that terrible day. So today I remember how awful that day was, but I also remember how our country rallied and pulled together like never before (in my lifetime)!

Rob is a Stud...

One of our Famous Self Portraits
Heather's Pride

Kissy, Kissy Mel
We just found out that Rob (my brother) and Carmen are going to have a baby. While the news was quite devastating to me in light of my own infertility, I couldn't be more excited! My brother is going to get to know the joy of being a parent. He will get to experience all the firsts and all the wonders that comes with being a Dad. They were very nervous to tell us and it didn't go so well, but I have had an opportunity to explain what is going on with us and our infertility treatment. Now I hope they have a clearer understanding of my tears. It wasn't for them it was for me. Next tuesday I get to go to the fertility clinic and have an ultrasound to see if I have produced any eggs. Cross your fingers for me. If all goes well there they will give me an injection and then shortly thereafter will do the artificial insemination. Then we are back to waiting again. I'm very nervous and excited all in one. Who knows it might be kinda fun to be pregnant at the same time as Carmen.

My friends Heather and Mel are here on their way to New Hampshire. Heather just recently finished up her sports medicine fellowship in Colorado and in now joining the medical community in Keene, NH. It has been fabulous to have her here and I am extremely excited for her and her new job. While they were here we did a little fishing. It wasn't terribly productive, but we did have a good time. Above are some quick photos of our fun afternoon...Enjoy!

Welcome! I hope this blog attempt turns out better than the last time. My goal here is to have a place to just share about my life, my joys and my struggles. Rick and I are just begging another phase in our long journey to have a baby and I figured this would be an excellent place to share that journey. I also would like to participate with the self-portrait challenge. I'm an extremely amature photographer that needs an excuse to take more pictures. At least that is what Rick tells me. In fact, he just bought me a really awesome new camera. I am having a great time trying it out. So welcome to my life and come back soon for more updates!